Beautifully Damaged Read online

  "Hi, Em. Can you believe it?" she whispered as she looked adoringly across the table at Todd.

  "Hi, what a pleasant surprise. Can I get you something to drink while you look over your menus?"

  Todd turned those hazel-green eyes on me and requested a bottle of Bordeaux. His French was perfect and though on the surface he was quite charming, an uncomfortable feeling of foreboding worked its way down my spine. Throughout their meal I watched Todd and Lena and wondered what exactly he did for a living that he could afford to bring a girl, who he'd only just started dating, to a restaurant that cost more money for one meal than I made in a week? After dinner they stood to leave and Lena leaned over and whispered, "Don't wait up for me, Em."

  She smiled as Todd reached for her hand and pulled her from the restaurant. I grabbed the check and noted that Todd had given me exactly twenty percent tip. Why that rubbed me the wrong way, I couldn't say.

  When I returned home after work I was surprised to find Lena home. Based on how she and Todd had been acting at dinner I wasn't expecting her to come home. I dropped my keys on the counter as I walked into living room.

  "Lena, what's wrong?"

  It was surprise in her expression when she looked up at me. I had the sense she was so lost in her thoughts that she didn't even hear me entering the apartment. I settled on the edge of the sofa as I asked again.

  "Is everything okay?"

  "Yeah, Todd had to cut our date short. He had some business thing to attend to."

  A business thing at ten in the evening -- not likely. "What does Todd do?"

  I noticed that her shoulders tensed and she looked defensive when she offered, "He's an investment banker."

  I wondered what was up with her reaction to my question but I didn't push it.

  "Did you enjoy your dinner at Clover?"

  She smiled then before she replied, "It was delicious."

  "That must have been a real treat for you."

  "It was. He was really excited about landing a big client so it was a celebratory dinner."

  "Nice."

  "It was, which is why I'm a bit sad that the evening was cut short but I understand; work is work."

  I didn't understand what kind of business would pull a man from a date at ten in the evening but I didn't say as much.

  "I'm beat. I'll see you in the morning, Lena."

  "Night, Em."

  In the morning I dressed and hurried downstairs where Trent was waiting. We were heading into Central Park for a jazz festival. It was a beautiful day and as soon as I stepped outside Trent smiled big and pretty.

  "Are you ready for a day of jazz, Ember?"

  I grinned before replying, "I am."

  We started down the street and I could see how excited Trent was since he adored jazz. For him to have an entire day where he could sit under a tree and listen to it, yes, Trent was going to be in heaven. We stopped off at Starbucks for some coffee and then we made our way into the Park. We found a nice patch of grass and sat down. Trent actually lay down and closed his eyes and lost himself in the music.

  I leaned back against a tree, drank my coffee and did some people-watching. Sometimes the writer in me crafted stories about the people I saw but today I just observed. There was one couple, hand in hand, giving each other looks of adoration. It was sweet but I had the sense they had yet to have their first argument. As my dad would say, they were still in the honeymoon phase of their relationship. Another couple walked by with a screaming toddler. It wasn't adoration in their expressions but complete exhaustion. It was the elderly couple passing by that had me sigh. They had to be in their eighties and yet they were holding hands. You could see how comfortable they were with each other after having shared a lifetime together. That was what I wanted: someone who knew me better than I knew myself, someone who knew all the worst parts of me yet still loved me.

  While watching the elderly couple, I noticed the tall man further down the path, who was walking toward the music. As he approached I saw the spiky black hair and the tattoo on his arm -- Trace Montgomery. I just stared since I couldn't believe I was seeing him again. What were the odds? I wondered if I was tapping into some latent magic and had the power to conjure him at will since, if I was being honest -- and if you couldn't be honest with yourself then you were in trouble -- he'd been in the back of my mind since we met. He stopped by a tree, leaned up against it and listened to the music. In the days since we met I had convinced myself that I had exaggerated his beauty but, oh no, I hadn't embellished. I had the strongest urge to go over and talk to him. Considering I usually couldn't get past my nerves to engage a man in conversation, the fact that I wanted to engage that man was odd.

  I watched as the women approached him but what was interesting was the look on his face as they did. He looked annoyed which seemed rather contrary to his reputation as a player of the first order. He didn't actually engage any of them in conversation and it seemed that when asked something he replied with as few words as possible. You could tell by the looks some of the ladies were giving him that they knew him intimately and yet there was no familiarity in his expression, just irritation. You'd think he'd be more flirtatious but with the expression he was sporting, I was surprised women were brave enough to approach him.

  Since I was far enough away from him, I let myself really study his face. He had nice cheekbones, a strong jaw, a poet's mouth and a nose that'd been broken a time or two which kept him from looking too perfect. His face was gorgeous but hard and there was a coldness in those beautiful eyes. I was so lost in that face that I didn't realize that he was looking in my direction and then to my utter horror I realized he was looking right at me. How did I know this you ask? Well, because there was a slight grin on that mouth and damn but that grin was sexy as hell. I blushed, right up to my hairline, as I quickly turned my head away from him. My heart was pounding like a frightened rabbit and I had the sense that those eyes were still watching me. A half an hour later I worked up the nerve to look over. I decided that if he had still been there I was going to walk over to him and thank him for coming to my aid the other night but when I looked over, he was gone.

  For the rest of the day my mind happily lingered on Trace. I had the sense that he remembered who I was and that knowledge had the butterflies doing somersaults in my belly. It was foolish for me to think about him since we definitely did not move in the same circles but I couldn't seem to help it. There was something about him that intrigued me. Thoughts of him had taken up residence in my head and I just couldn't seem to expel them -- not that I really wanted to since what was the harm in admiring him from afar?

  The following morning I had a 5-k run in Central Park sponsored by Clover. All the proceeds from the day, including the profits from the restaurant sales, were going to various charities supporting underprivileged children. When I arrived I was happy to see the turn out for the event. I registered, got my number, and then moved on to the side to warm up.

  I wasn't there too long when I felt the oddest tickle down my spine and I knew who it was before my eyes landed on Trace. I actually felt the air still in my lungs. He was dressed in black sweats and a white tee that was snug across the muscles of his chest and arms. And how so like a man to be able to make sweats look sexy as hell. He came alone but as he moved through the crowds I noticed the people, mostly women, who started to gravitate to him like steel to a magnet.

  I moved my eyes from the man to the women and had to resist the urge to scratch my head. Who fixes their hair and applies makeup before going for a run? Their running clothes were not only designer but they looked as if they'd never been worn. I felt like a bit of a slob next to them considering my hair was pulled up into a messy knot, my sweatpants had seen better days and my faded gray t-shirt had shrunk a bit over the years so that the words "May The Force Be With You" were stretched across my breasts.

  I watched Trace -- more like stared blatantly -- and I noticed again how he seemed detached from his surroundings, including
the women flocking around him. I thought to go over and say hi but the mere thought of doing so, in front of his fan club, made my stomach twist up in knots. And then, like magic, he turned his head and those steel-blue eyes looked right into mine. I watched as his lips curve up on the one side and then to my utter joy he started over to me. I almost swooned, my knees actually started knocking. He really was the most gorgeous man alive and he had the most excellent swagger. His stride was long and yet he moved with a deliberateness that made my mouth water. When he stopped right in front of me, I got lightheaded and then realized it was because I was holding my breath. I released it with a smile just as he spoke.

  "Hi."

  I had trouble forming words since my brain seemed to have seized up from shock but I did manage a simple, "Hi."

  He studied me with an intensity that warmed my blood. Unlike the aloofness I had observed both at that time and the day before, there was a heat in his gaze that had my heart rate speeding up. Somehow I managed to say, "I don't know if you remember me from Sapphire...."

  I didn't get to finish my thought when he offered,"...Ember Walsh, I remember."

  He remembered my name. I wanted to do a little victory dance. Looking at that face, I couldn't help smiling; he really was altogether yummy.

  "I wanted to thank you for helping me the other night."

  "I think you were doing pretty well on your own but I was happy to help."

  His voice was so deep and hypnotic. I could listen to him all day, stare at him, too. I pulled myself from those thoughts before I started to drool or whimper or both.

  "Maybe, but I really appreciated you stepping up so thank you, Trace."

  I noticed a flash in his eyes and I had the sense that he was surprised I remembered his name. The man was unforgettable; surely he knew that.

  "You're welcome, Ember." We just stood there looking at each other and then he asked, "Do you mind if I join you?"

  I was surprised and ridiculously happy in response to his question before I answered.

  "Please."

  He started to warm up, the muscles of his torso bunching and cording under his tee. I noticed the slight coloring along his jaw. Clearly, the man had been in a fight since the last time I saw him but considering he knocked my would-be-attacker on his ass with very little trouble, I wouldn't be surprised to learn he was some type of fighter.

  I watched as he continued to warm up with his face in profile, and what a face it was. His tattoo was on the arm opposite from me so I still couldn't make out what it depicted but I did see lots of flames. I was pulled from my silent study of him when the announcer called us to the starting line. Trace's eyes turned to me.

  "Shall we?"

  I smiled as we joined the masses. When the gun sounded I expected Trace to take off considering his legs were so long. He surprised me though and paced himself to run at my side. I had butterflies in my stomach every time I looked over at him. At one point when I looked, he was looking back, which had my heart nearly beating right out of my chest. I smiled before I turned my head but knew my face flushed as red as an apple. I knew he saw it, too, if the wicked grin he threw me was any indication. I didn't know what it was about this guy but I felt like a teenager with a crush when I was in his presence. About halfway through Trace moved a bit closer to me.

  "I'll see you at the finish, Ember."

  My eyes found his and damn they were pretty before I replied, "Okay."

  He held my gaze for a moment and then he took off. He was not only beautiful but the man was in prime physical shape as he moved himself through the masses. In only a short time I couldn't see him any more. I didn't really expect to see him at the finish. I assumed his parting words were a farewell of sorts. I was disappointed because I could have spent the entire day with the man and it still wouldn't have been enough. I didn't know anything about him but I wanted to. I found that I was very interested in Trace Montgomery and that kind of interest in a man had never happened to me before. Of course, leave it to me to develop a crush on a man who was so out of my stratosphere.

  I finished the race beating my personal best time and started to warm down. The sky was an amazing blue and the clouds were like cotton balls so I took a moment to lay down on the grass and stare up. I remembered as a kid looking for shapes in the clouds with my dad. I always loved looking up at the sky because I couldn't help but wonder what was beyond it? I think it was why I loved Star Wars so much. We got a glimpse into what could be out there in that vast open and unknown space.

  A shadow fell over me and when I looked there was Trace looking down at me with a smile. It was a nice sight but also a figment of my imagination so even as I smiled back I closed my eyes and willed myself awake. His deep voice had my eyes snapping open.

  "Are you okay?"

  "You're really standing there."

  His smile was more a grin when he replied, "As you see."

  "That's just it, I don't trust my eyes," I muttered.

  "Excuse me?" He asked.

  "Nothing."

  There was a devilish gleam in his eyes as he offered to me his hand and as I took it, I felt heat burn up my arm. One look at his face and I knew he felt it, too. We just stood there, his hand still wrapped around mine, as we stared at each other.

  He seemed to recover before me when he offered rather softly.

  "It was nice to see you again, Ember."

  "You, too."

  He started away from me and I heard myself calling after him.

  "Trace?"

  He stopped and looked back at me.

  "I run here every morning at nine starting at the Gapstow Bridge and after my runs I go to the Starbucks on Fifth Avenue near the Park. If you're ever in the mood for a run I'd welcome the company."

  His smile was sheer perfection before he replied, "I'll keep that in mind, Ember."

  And then he was gone, disappearing into the crowd as I stood there staring after him.

  I arrived at home a short time later fantasizing about a nice hot bath. As soon as I closed the door I heard the sounds which should have clued me in but I wasn't really paying close enough attention since my thoughts were preoccupied with the race and seeing and talking to Trace. It was only when I turned and looked into the living room that I blushed and quickly averted my eyes because Lena and Todd were having sex on the sofa. I rushed down the hall to my room when I heard Lena's cry of outrage directed at me.

  "Ember, really!"

  "Aren't you supposed to put a sock on the door, Lena."

  "You weren't supposed to be home until later."

  I couldn't actually believe we were having an argument while Todd was still thrusting. Perhaps I had stepped into an alternate universe because today was just full of surprises.

  "Well go, Ember. Are you going to stand there and watch?"

  She was pricking my temper so to be belligerent I walked around the sofa and just stared at her. The fact that I got to see more of Todd was an unpleasant side effect of my anger-induced move.

  "You aren't really giving me shit for walking into my own apartment, are you Lena? If you and Todd want to get naked that's your business but if you choose to do so in the living room when you have a perfectly private bedroom, then you're going to have to expect interruptions."

  I started down the hall and though I couldn't make out what Todd was saying I knew that he was talking about me.

  I took an extra long bath so when I finally climbed out I looked like a prune but at least my temper had fizzled. I changed into some sweats, dried my hair and headed out into the kitchen. Lena was there, sitting at the table eating my leftover Chinese food. It was something she did all the time and usually I let it go but I was beginning to observe a pattern with Lena that I never saw before. She was selfish.

  "You're eating my lunch, Lena."

  She looked up at me and I could see she was still angry so I cocked my hip and held her gaze.

  "Sex on the sofa, Lena, with a man you barely know."

&nb
sp; She tried for haughty when she replied, "One thing led to another."

  "Well, next time lead it down the hall to your bedroom because walking in and seeing your boyfriend's pasty-white ass is not high on my list of must sees. Hell, it isn't even on my list."

  "You're just jealous." She said as she stood, leaving her plate on the table, as she started to her room.

  I stood there watching her and realized that my best friend was turning into a bitch.

  Chapter Two

  The following morning I went for my run and I won't lie; I was disappointed when I arrived and Trace wasn't there. I didn't really think that he was going to join me because, well, I wasn't all that interesting but I really wished he had. After my run I went for my coffee and then headed home. Todd was over again; I could hear them but at least they were in Lena's room so I won that argument. I showered and changed before settling in the living room to read. I didn't really like Todd because the man never spoke to me -- not even a hello or a goodbye. I didn't understand what it was that Lena saw in him. Yes, he was attractive but he had the personality of a dead fish. Another negative about Todd: Lena being with him was turning her into an uber bitch. I didn't want to think about them any more so I grabbed my book and lost myself in the world of Jane Eyre and Mr. Rochester.

  A few days later I decided to blow off running since I felt like an idiot telling a man like Trace that I'd welcome his company on my runs -- as if he'd want to spend time with me. I blushed every time I replayed that conversation in my head and it was for this reason that I avoided interacting with men since I sucked at it.

  I walked into the kitchen to brew some coffee and realized I was out of beans -- not cool. I changed into some sweats and headed out to Starbucks.

  I was just down the street from coffee-heaven when I felt that odd shiver down my spine and knew that Trace was near. I looked across the street and saw him which had me feeling a ridiculous amount of joy because I thought that he was coming to see me. This delusion lasted for only a moment because a stunning woman stepped up next to him and linked her fingers with his.